


Always you, always us

by Jupe



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Azure Moon Timeline, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29631921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupe/pseuds/Jupe
Summary: A retelling of the events of the Azure Moon timeline, focused on Sylvain, Felix and the development of their relationship."Those are some of Sylvain’s fondest memories — Nights spent huddled up under Felix’s blanket, telling each other stories until eventually one of them dozed off, only to wake up the next morning with Felix’s tiny hands clinging onto him like he was afraid Sylvain would just disappear into thin air otherwise. He really misses those times, but he also has a feeling that far too much has changed since then to just go back to how things were back then."
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Always you, always us

**Author's Note:**

> There may be additional content warnings in the notes for future chapters, so please keep an eye out for that!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain sees Felix again for the first time in a while. He soon has to realize that a lot has changed since the last time they met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super excited to finally be able to share the first chapter of a project I've been meaning to write for literal ages, and I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

It’s always the same familiar feeling of relief rushing over Sylvain when the house he calls his “home” (Even though that’s really the last thing it feels like) gradually fades into the Horizon. He sits on the back of his trusty horse with the cold Faerghus wind brushing through his hair as the place turns into nothing more than a faint outline in the distance. By now the sun has risen above the mountain ridge separating them from Sreng, however, it can’t quite compete with the cold of his homeland, serving as nothing more than a merely noticeable tickle of warmth on his cheeks. As they’re heading further south, it will hopefully get warmer. Only another reason for Sylvain to be eager to finally get as far away from home as possible.

Sylvain can’t help but hum a little as he watches the scenery slowly pass by, changing from the familiar villages he grew up around to ones he hasn’t seen in quite a while. He vaguely remembers them from when his father would occasionally take him on trips further south, but since then, a lot has changed. Some houses have clearly seen better days, others have been replaced by entirely new ones. It only serves to make him realize even more just how long it has been since he last headed in this direction.

There’s not a lot of people outside today (Sylvain can’t blame them, it really is quite cold today), so he can move forward quickly. At this pace, he’ll probably arrive at the Fraldarius family’s estate right on time for dinner — Just as he had planned.

Sylvain can’t deny that he feels somewhat nervous, although it’s hard to tell for sure _why_. Maybe it’s because he’s never left his home for quite that long, and now he’ll spend an entire year at Garreg Mach. Or maybe it’s because he hasn't seen most of his old friends in quite a long time.

As much as he hates the idea of it, there’s no doubt everyone has changed a lot since they last met each other. Not only are they all older now, but the Tragedy of Duscur four years ago has greatly affected all of them. All he can hope for is that they can still get along as friends, even now.

*****

As soon as Sylvain arrives at the Fraldarius estate, he’s greeted almost immediately by two servants. One stableboy, eagerly offering to take care of his horse, and a maid, who wordlessly grabs his bag and leads him inside. “The Duke apologizes for not greeting you personally”, she explains as she leads him through the hallways, “but he’s got an awful lot of work to do at the moment.”

“Oh, that’s no problem”, Sylvain answers nonchalantly, “No need for him to trouble himself just for me! I’m sure he’s really busy.” It’s not like he isn’t used to it from his own father already. Not to mention that Sylvain doesn’t exactly care for these kinds of courtesies anyways. However, he can’t help but be a little disappointed that not even Felix came to say hello. When they were kids, Felix would usually be so eager to greet him that he ran outside to see them as soon as he spotted their horses in the distance. _Maybe he’s just busy, too_ he tells himself.

The maid continues to lead him through the corridors with hurried steps and Sylvain can’t help but notice the deafening silence all around. He always remembered the halls of the Fraldarius estate as warm and lively, with the sounds of clashing training swords being carried inside from the backyard and the happy chatter of always at least one of his friends at a time. They used to run through those very same hallways playing catch, while the adults called after them to be careful not to get hurt.

Now he feels like he’s walking through a completely different house and he’s unsure what to make of it.

Eventually they come to a halt in front of an old wooden door. Sylvain vaguely remembers this to be the same room he used to sleep in when he came to visit as a child. The maid gestures towards it.

“You’ll be staying in here for the night. Please let us know if there’s anything you need.” Sylvain nods and takes his bag from her with a smile. Just as he’s about to enter the room, she speaks once again. “Also, dinner should be ready in about half an hour. If you’d like, someone can come to show you the way to the dining room then.”

Sylvain quickly waves her off. “Don’t worry about it, I still remember where it is. Thanks for the help!” He gives her one last smile before entering and pushing the door shut behind him.

When they first found out they’d all be going to Garreg Mach together, Ingrid, Felix and Sylvain had exchanged a series of letters in which they eventually decided that Sylvain would leave a day earlier, spend one night with the Fraldarius family and then depart together with Felix the next day to meet up with Ingrid.

So, Sylvain doesn’t even bother to unpack his bag now and instead just sets it on a lonely chair in the corner of the room.

He settles down on the edge of the bed, which squeaks loudly as it gives in to his weight.

The mattress is a bit too hard for his liking, but that’s how it’s always been here. When they were kids, Sylvain would always use it as an excuse to go sleep with Felix instead. Not that Felix’s mattress was that much softer. Their parents allowed it regardless, if only because they knew that otherwise they’d have to deal with Sylvain sulking for the rest of the day and Felix having a crying fit. It was much easier to just let them sleep together rather than having to argue about it.

Those are some of Sylvain’s fondest memories — Nights spent huddled up under Felix’s blanket, telling each other stories until eventually one of them dozed off, only to wake up the next morning with Felix’s tiny hands clinging onto him like he was afraid Sylvain would just disappear into thin air otherwise. He really misses those times, but he also has a feeling that far too much has changed since then to just go back to how things were back then.

*****

When Sylvain finally makes his way to the dining room, he enters it to find Rodrigue already sitting there, alone, greeting Sylvain with a smile that is clearly forced. (Sylvain forces enough smiles of his own to recognize a fake smile when he sees one.) As Sylvain gets closer, he notices the dark shadows under the man’s eyes, the way his shoulders are slightly sagged — He looks tired.

Aside from Rodrigue’s place, the table is set for two more people, one of them right opposite from Rodrigue, the other further down the table. Sylvain sits down at the latter place, vaguely recalling that Felix used to always sit at the other. It falls quiet for a bit as they sit and wait for Felix.

“How was your trip so far?” Rodrigue asks after a while. _Small talk? Sure. Sylvain is a master at that._

“It was alright. A little windy today, but I suppose that’s normal for this season”, Sylvain rambles, following it up with a polite smile for good measure. Rodrigue nods, although he looks like he hasn’t really listened. It falls quiet once again.

“How have things been around here?” Sylvain asks after the new silence becomes too unbearable to endure.

Rodrigue blinks. “Here? Things have been… Alright. Nothing special”, he replies after a few more seconds. It doesn’t seem like he plans on elaborating any further.

 _So it’s been that bad, huh?_ Sylvain senses that he should just leave it at that, so he instead focuses on his surroundings.

The room hasn’t really changed since the last time he’s been here. The same teal blue curtains on the windows, the same wooden table and chairs, the same family pictures on the wall. And yet, it feels like a completely different room. It seems darker than he remembered, a bit colder. The pictures no longer feel like the portrayal of a (mostly) happy family, but rather like a memory of something long gone, lingering like a reminder of everything lost back in Duscur.

The silence is broken by the sound of the door opening and being slammed shut shortly after. Sylvain watches as Felix wordlessly approaches, stops, and gives Sylvain an irritated gaze. Then he sighs audibly, grabs the spare plate and cutlery, walks around the table and sets them down as far away from his father as possible.

Rodrigue doesn’t comment on it. Instead he just says “We’ve been waiting, Felix.” with a tone Sylvain can’t quite read. It seems calm enough and there is no obvious edge to it, but there’s something about it that leaves him uncomfortable. He glances over at Felix just in time to see how he clenches his jaw, fingers grabbing his fork so hard that his knuckles turn white.

“Nobody asked you to”, he flatly replies, eyes firmly set on the window opposite of him.

“We have a guest today”, Rodrigue points out. Sylvain tenses up as they now both look over at him.

“Hello, Sylvain”, Felix eventually says with a tone so cold, it almost gives Sylvain goosebumps. _Ouch._ That’s definitely not the kind of greeting he would have hoped to receive from one of his best friends.

He forces a tight smile on his face. “Hey, Felix. It’s good to see you again!” Felix doesn’t reply, barely even shows any sign that he registered what Sylvain said.

This atmosphere drags on throughout dinner. Heavy silence hangs in the air, making Sylvain increasingly uncomfortable. He’s hyper aware of every sound he makes — The knife scratching across the plate when he tries to cut something, the way he chews, even the way he swallows his food. It all seems far too loud, so he tries his best to suppress any sounds as much as possible, but it doesn’t help to get rid of this tense feeling. It’s as if _something_ is about to snap any second.

Sylvain can’t help but wonder if this is how things usually are around here, or if it’s somehow caused by him.

Felix jumps up as soon as he’s done eating and leaves without another word. Rodrigue, who was always so adamant that they’d all stay at the table until everyone was finished eating, just watches without protest. There’s not the hint of a reaction from him, aside from a small suppressed sigh when the door slams shut once more.

“You can leave too if you want to. I’m sure you’re tired”, Rodrigue notes after a while, running a hand over his face. Sylvain gladly takes him up on the offer, not because he’s tired, but because he has to get out of here before the tension crushes him.

Once the door closes behind him, he takes a deep breath. _What on earth was that?_ He’s used to that kind of tension from his own home, but here? This place always felt like a kind of safe space because of the total _lack_ of tension.

He should probably at least try to go to bed early, but if he were to try that right now, Sylvain is convinced he’d just end up lying awake for hours. No, he has to walk off the feeling of anxiety that’s been building up inside of him over dinner, or else it will just drive him insane. He starts mindlessly wandering through the endless quiet hallways without paying attention to where he’s headed. It’s only when his feet come to a stop in front of a door that Sylvain realizes where he is. _Felix’s room._

After that disastrous dinner, Sylvain isn’t sure Felix wants to see him right now. He didn’t seem to be particularly eager to talk to him earlier.

Before he has a chance to make up his mind about whether or not he should knock, the door opens, just far enough for Felix to glance outside. “Stop standing outside of my room like a creep”, he complains.

“Sorry.” Sylvain gives him an apologetic smile. “I just… Wanted to say hi, I guess.”

Felix pulls the door open a bit further. Just wide enough to let Sylvain see how he crosses his arms. “Didn’t you do that already?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t sure you even registered it”, Sylvain admits.

“Well, I did. Was that all you wanted?”

Sylvain frowns. “Are you really going to be that cold towards me?”

“Yes”, Felix replies deadpan. Then he sighs and softens his gaze just a little. “Look, I... just want to sleep right now, okay? You can talk my ear off tomorrow if you absolutely have to. But at the moment I’m really not in the mood for that.”

Sylvain quickly nods. “Yeah, sure. That’s fine. Sorry for bothering you.”

Felix shakes his head. “It’s alright.” They fall silent again. Right as Sylvain is about to leave, Felix calls out to him again. “Hey, Sylvain? Make sure you don’t oversleep tomorrow, or else I’ll leave without you.” Sylvain turns to give him a thumbs up, just in time to see the hint of a smile on Felix’s face.

“Sure thing”, he grins. Felix nods once more before closing his door again, this time a lot softer than earlier at dinner.

Sylvain goes to bed feeling at least somewhat calmer. For now he’ll have to cling to the hope that Felix will warm up to him again eventually. Maybe he just needs to get out of here as badly as Sylvain wanted to leave his own home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please stop by and show my lovely beta @theory_box some love on Twitter,because they deserve it! You can also find them as CornHuskDruid here on AO3!

**Author's Note:**

> Consider coming to scream about sylvix with me on Twitter (My handle is @Juppyteer)


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